Remembering Hope

In January 2013, Nathan and I were desperately trying to discern whether God was calling us to adopt. We had prayed for clarity and researched information for months. A few days after meeting with a local agency and learning about the process and financial commitments of international adoption, we received an honorarium for some work that I did. The first step to initiate the process was to complete an application and send it in along with a $250 application fee. How much was the honorarium? $250. Exactly.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.” Romans 4:20-21

Over the next year, we submitted the application, labored through the home study, agonized over the dossier, and joined the other hopeful families on the wait list. After a year on the wait list, we heard that Ethiopia was growing leery of international adoption. “Would we like to start all over from the beginning and switch to the China program?” they asked. Well, I’ll just tell ya, ain’t nobody got time for that. We rolled the dice and stayed put.

Fast forward to September 3^rd, 2015. Just another random Wednesday, but it finally came. The call. The referral call. Out of nowhere. A few minutes later we opened an email, and the most beautiful little girl was looking back at us from the screen. Our daughter.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Two months later, we discovered that one piece of information on two of our referral documents didn’t match, and it didn’t look like the result was going to be in our daughter’s favor. Well, it was. Crisis averted.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

In November, we found out that our agency was closing. We were devastated. How would we continue on? A few weeks later, we learned that a reduced staff was going to maintain the agency in order to see our cases through. Every last one of them.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Time dragged on. Things were moving slowly for all families in process in Ethiopia due to governmental staff changes and turn-over. When we accepted her referral, we were told she would be home in 6-9 months. After praying boldly for some time, by June of this year, we were no longer praying to bring her home prior to the annual rainy season closure (August 5 – September 30), we were praying that our preliminary hearing would take place prior to the closure. Three weeks ago, right before closure, we received word that our preliminary hearing had taken place. As this is the last stop before a court date, we sensed that we had been holding our breath for months and could finally exhale.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Exactly a week later, we received a phone call and word of the most significant, discouraging development yet: our agency was shutting down completely – they were out of compliance – effective pretty much immediately, and there was no clear plan forward. I can’t express to you the paralyzing, pervasive fear that seeped into every corner of my brain. I lamented using the psalms, because I didn’t have any words left of my own. I grasped for hope but I honestly couldn’t see God anywhere. I couldn’t even access God in my memory. I didn’t have any cards left to play; I was a passive participant in the downward spiral of our adoption story. And then I remembered…..

I am a MAMA, by God.

Nathan and I are the greatest advocates our children have or will ever have. And God designed it that way. After spending last weekend in prayer and asking God to send out light and truth to lead me (Psalm 43), I started making some calls on Monday morning. The first time I actually talked to someone who could help me, I was energized. So, I made some more calls. Nathan made calls. We sent emails. We got more answers. We found more people who were willing to share information and help. And in the deep recesses of my mind, memories of God’s promises and provisions began to resurface again during my morning devotions.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

We have not walked this road alone over the past two weeks, though. I have found beautiful community with several special, special adoptive mamas who are all deep in the same trenches. This morning, all together, we began to step out of the fog and visualize a clear path forward to bring our daughter home. We received word that another agency operating in Ethiopia received clearance this morning to take our cases and guide us through the rest of the process. And just like that, God’s glory is being revealed all over again.

I don’t write this blog post to remind you of God’s history of provision throughout our adoption process. I’m not trying to outline evidence of God’s hand making the path straight again after every time something comes along to curve it sharply to the left or right, for you.

I needed to remind myself.

I needed to outline evidence of God glory being brought about for us. 

Because before she’s finally in our arms for the first time, the path will start curving back and forth again. Or something will be placed squarely in the middle of the path that, at first glance, there seems no way around. I’m sure of it.

But when I’m tempted to think that it could never possibly be made straight or clear again in the future, I have to remind myself to look to the past. Through God’s acts of provision, starting with that very first check for $250, God’s faithfulness hasn’t waivered.

Glory be to God. 

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Please continue pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Kameron, Nathan, J. Henry, Amelia and our New Little Girl!