"Genuine Humility"

A few years ago in divinity school, I (Nathan) read a statement by theologian John Milbank, claiming that the bane of contemporary western culture is "false humility". I have pondered the meaning of that claim for several years now, and the longer I live in this age of cultural divisiveness, the more I see the need for "genuine humility" in our public life together. Just imagine how different our cultural rhetoric would be if politicians, journalist, pastors, etc., would humbly reflect upon our need to enrich our common humanity (even that of our enemies!) prior to whipping out the scalpel of our ideology and dividing the world into the "us/them" categories that define us first by labels rather than first as fellow children of God. 

But assuming for a moment that a person desired the virtue of humility, how would one attain it? Unlike honesty or patience, which can be practiced by force of habit toward our neighbors, humility is primarily an interior matter - a state of mind and heart emerging from our character. I mean, trying to adopt an inner disposition like humility is like deciding not to think about the color blue - which immediately causes the opposite. Humility is not simply a virtue that can be "willed", it is something that needs to be inflicted or imposed upon us from the outside. So if you are looking to become more humble, I think I have found a winning formula. 

Prayerfully discern and then courageously step out on faith to follow the will of God.

Our family's desire to adopt has been born out of this exercise - to discern and follow God's leading. Yes, God had given Kameron and I a desire for three children and yes we believe we could offer a loving home to a child who needed one. But we have no reason to believe that we are unable to have third child naturally. For us, the decision to adopt was this persistant small voice in our minds and hearts that if God has been so gracious as to adopt us, then perhaps we could do the same for child somewhere in this vast world. 

But we knew we could not do this alone. We would need the support of friends and family who would believe in this calling and be willing to share it. 

So over the last few weeks, we stepped out on faith and invited people we know to be a part of this journey. Kameron has baked and delivered 26 pound cakes and has orders currently for 10 more. We have sent letters to loved ones inviting prayers of blessing and support. The expressions of support, the prayers, and encouraging words have been simply beautiful - and humbling. Very humbling.

We have received cake orders from strangers who simply believe in this endeavor and are willing to pay $30 for pound cake (although they are worth it!). We have received generous gifts from young friends who have given not because they had money to spare, but because they want to make a difference in a child's life. We have read prayers of encouragement for us and prayers of love for an unknown child, prayers that will bring tears to your eyes. Each of these has been a means of grace to us and our future child. 

And while the support we have received is not for "us" and instead is for the larger purpose, we get to be on the receiving end of that support. We - me, Kameron, Henry and Amelia, all human beings with accompanying flaws (I having the most) - are getting a front row seat and VIP passes to see God's grace being poured into this whole process. To see this beautiful working of the Holy Spirit through people's lives into ours, and to know to my unworthiness to be part of it, has imposed upon me a wonderful, burning humility that is changing me in a way that I could never do through my own power. 

I guess this life changing process is teaching me what the Apostle Paul has been trying to teach me all my life, to "Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death— even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:5-8, NRSV). 

So "Thank you!" to those who have already been to so gracious to us, for fostering in me and my family, genuine humility. 


We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please be in prayer for all five of us during this journey.
In God’s grace,
Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry & Amelia (and Baby Number Three!)

Baby Steps...

With one hand clenching a fistful of chair fabric and the other hand reaching, fingertips yearning, Henry set his gaze toward me, just three feet away. His eyes sparkled with a mixture of anxiety and excitement as his chubby little legs caused his body to sway in jerky, uncoordinated rhythm. He was grinning from ear to ear as he finally set off! He had never done this before. He didn't trust his own strength and skill, because these resources had never been put to this kind of challenge. One thing he did know, was that his father stood before him in his future, his arms open and smile upon his face, wooing him, "Come."

And there in our living room in Mount Juliet, TN in April of 2009, he did. And we have seen how that small step of faith was just the first of the 10 million steps, leaps, and skips he has taken since then. In this analogy, we are like Henry - Amelia would have been ready for her first 5-K at 10 months old :0)

As we begin the first leg of our journey, we too don't trust our own strength and skill, our past experiences, or the certainty of a smooth trek. But we, too, believe that as we seek to bring a new child into our home, we are moving toward a voice echoing through the chambers of our heart, "Come." And we can just imagine the God who is speaking to us is calling with arms open wide and warm smile upon his face. 

As we trust in this voice, we remember that God calls us, not individually, but as communities to follow him. We take great strength and hope in knowing our family and friends will be a part of this experience. First, we ask for your prayers that God would sustain us with patience with the process and the health and welfare of the children waiting for loving homes - one of whom will become a part of our family. We also ask that you would pray that God would open avenues of provision for this process. Adoption is expensive. As we have learned, the documentation, legal, and travel fees are considerable – even when working through a non-profit faith based adoption agency. We hope to raise at least $15,000 of the costs we are facing, with a goal of $20,000 - with the thermometer on this page tracking our progress. An estimated outline of our financial obligation to this process is as follows:

Agency Fees                                                             $9,500.00

Out of Pocket Adoption Expenses                    $12,938.00

In-Country Expenses (Ethiopia)                       $11,201.00

Est. Total (-$12,700 Federal tax credit)         $20,939.00

We recognize that sometimes God expects us to be a part of the answer to prayer. So, as our friends and family, we are asking for your support. In addition to your prayers, we are hoping that you may feel led to make a financial gift to help a child become part of our family.

Here are some of the ways we hope to meet our financial goal:

1 - Adjusting our monthly family budget to be able to save more

2 - Sending out letters to friends and family

3 - Assembling a 1,000 piece puzzle as sponsors purchase $10 puzzle pieces (more details soon!)

4 - Selling Kameron's World Famous Homemade Pound Cakes - Coconut or Cream Cheese (see below)

5 - Hosting childcare nights for local friends to have a date night 

Some of our local friends have sampled Kameron's Coconut Pound Cake over the past couple of days...and no crumbs remain! If you would like to order one (Coconut or Cream Cheese), please send her a message on Facebook, at kam.carden@hotmail.com, or call/text at 205-863-0672. We ask for a donation of $30 each - and we promise they are worth it!

Please know that any donation for this child that you are able to is a gift directly to our family and is, therefore, not tax deductible. If you would like to make a gift online through PayPal.com, click the "Donate" button on this page. We are grateful for the difference you are making.  

Will you help us take our "first" steps in this journey? We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please be in prayer for all five of us during this journey.

In God’s grace,

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry & Amelia (and Baby Number Three!)

Here We Go!

We are writing to share a story with you that will help you imagine what we pray the next chapter of the life of our family will hold.

Back in December, Kameron and I were discussing how much we love our (then) four year old, J. Henry, and our one year old, Amelia. They are healthy, smart and happy, and we could not find more joy or receive more grace from being their parents. We count our blessings everyday that we enjoy the love of God and each other in our home. We also talked about our plans to have a third child and began to seriously consider adoption – something both of us had always felt drawn to do. God has been to good to us by adopting us as His children, and we feel called to participate in the action of adoption as a result of that grace. J. Henry further affirmed our desires with frequent comments about wanting another sibling. We recently visited a friend and her newborn in the hospital shortly after the baby’s birth. J. Henry was able to hold the baby. When I told him it was time to leave, he said, “I don’t want to give the baby back; I just can’t stop kissing him!” 

We decided to make an appointment a couple of weeks later with a local adoption agency to learn more about the process. We met with them on a Friday morning in January and discerned from that meeting that international adoption would be the best fit for us since, in their words, “In America, there are families waiting for children. Internationally, there are children waiting for families.” While we were excited and filled with hope about this possibility, we were also sobered by the fact that international adoption costs can range from $25,000-$35,000. For while God has blessed us in many ways and we enjoy a generous life, the reality of graduate school loans and raising two other children gave us pause to consider the feasibility of such an endeavor.

Later that same evening, Kameron went to a church service to interpret for a hearing impaired couple. She did this for them again on Sunday evening that weekend. At the end of the second service, the family member who had requested for her to interpret approached Kameron with a gift in an envelope to express her gratitude. In the envelope was a check for the exact amount needed to cover the application fee to begin the adoption process! This couple knew nothing of our recent visit to the agency or the prayers for wisdom we had been offering – we had told no one. While some people may say this is a mere coincidence, we choose to see it as a reminder of God’s provision for us as we step out on faith to follow God’s calling.

So on behalf of Kameron, Henry and Amelia, I am so excited to share the news that we our application to adopt a child internationally from Ethiopia has been approved! We are in the very early stages of the process and making preparations for our Home Study. We will be working through Lifeline Children’s Services here in Birmingham. We are filled with joy when we think that one of the 800,000 orphans in Ethiopia right now could become a part of our family within the next two years. As we have prayerfully considered our current family structure, we have decided to pursue adopting a boy or a girl no older than three years of age. 

We have adjusted our family’s budget in order to put as much money as we can into a savings account for the most immediate costs. We also plan to organize fundraising activities for this goal, such as providing monthly “Parents Night Out” babysitting services for our local friends. In addition to the “Ethiopian Adoption Manuel,” our summer reading list includes a book called “Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways to Cover the Cost of Adoption.” We are hoping it will be a page-turner.

As our friends and family, we are asking for your support. We have created this blog for you to follow our story along this journey to Ethiopia, and we hope that you will enjoy sharing in our setbacks and successes. 

Many of you reading this are already a part of our family’s story, and we are filled with gratitude for your presence in our lives. We pray that you will feel called, with us, to be a part of a child’s story, too. We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please be in prayer for all five of us during this journey.

In God’s grace,

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry & Amelia (and Number Three!)

“Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”

Matthew 18:5, NRSV