In the meantime...

Y’all, if waiting were an Olympic sport, all the qualifying participants would be parents adopting internationally. We continue to offer praise for another agency’s willingness to take on our case, but now we are back to waiting to see what paperwork the branch of the Ethiopian government that deals with adoption (MOWA) and the orphanage will require of us as a result of an agency transfer. We expect to receive word from the new agency sometime during the week of August 28^th. This will give the agency officials on the ground in Ethiopia time to collect all the information the agency needs to help us proceed.

We have received so much good news already from this new agency, and everyone has been so responsive, competent, compassionate, and proactive. After so many peaks and valleys, though, it’s becoming almost impossible to trust the good news - to trust that it will stick. To trust that bad news isn’t going to be on the other end of the next call. In the midst of all the good new, a worst-case-scenario can be mentioned in passing, and my mind perseverates on it for days. DAYS, y’all. All of the good news becomes white noise, while the mere possibility of the bad news rings through loud and clear.

As badly as I want to…Why can’t I quiet this down? Why are the worst-case scenarios rattling around in there so loudly? Why can’t I calm my spirit? Why can’t I just be a “good Christian” right now and not wrestle with trust?

For the sake of transparency, you should know I have, like, zero credible theological or spiritual training. I’ve never been to seminary or taken a formal course in theology or Bible. But I do have a Bible. And I do have a husband who has encouraged me to dig in to and cling to the Psalms so many times during our marriage that I finally got desperate and gave it a try. And, friends, the Psalms are AMAZING. They literally say what you can’t or won’t or don’t know how to. Take Psalm 43, for example.

Vindicate me, O God, and defend my cause

against an ungodly people;

from those who are deceitful and unjust

deliver me!

For you are the God in whom I take refuge;

why have you cast me off?

Why must I walk about mournfully

because of the oppression of the enemy?

O send out your light and your truth;

let them lead me;

let them bring me to your holy hill

and to your dwelling.

Then I will go to the altar of God,

to God my exceeding joy;

and I will praise you with the harp,

O God, my God.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,

and why are you disquieted within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,

my help and my God.

Now, I’m not actually at odds with an ungodly, deceitful, and unjust enemy. But I don’t have to take that literally. I am, however, at odds with paperwork, and waiting, and fear of the unknown and all of the other scary things that come with your adoption agency closing and you being at the mercy of another country’s government. That’s why I love this Psalm: God, I feel like you’ve left me to fend for myself and I don’t know where you are. Send out a light for me to follow, because I will do it. I will follow that light straight to where you want me to go. And when I get there, I will praise you. Really loudly.

In the meantime, though, you need to get a grip, Soul. Calm the heck down. Because God is near, and God will help, and I will praise him for it soon.

Sometimes, I have to read a Psalm aloud over and over, until my spirit is literally pulled out of a dark place and temporarily retrained to hope. And sometimes, it takes longer than it should to hope again, and I have to practically yell at my soul to stop being disquieted. But, eventually, my Soul find hope and rest.

For a few hours at least.

While we are waiting and Psalming, would you pray with us for a few things?

1.     Our case is in order and in good standing for an agency transfer

2.     MOWA and the orphanage will not request additional paperwork from us as a result of the agency change

3.     We will hear positive news from the new agency during the week of August 28^th

4.     The agency change will not significantly delay our timeline for bringing our daughter home

5.     Our daughter’s heart and mind and body will be guarded and protected in the meantime

Thank you for continuing to bear with us in prayer. May all of our disquieted souls find hope in God this day.

In God’s Grace,

Kameron, Nathan, J. Henry, Amelia and our New Little Girl!

Remembering Hope

In January 2013, Nathan and I were desperately trying to discern whether God was calling us to adopt. We had prayed for clarity and researched information for months. A few days after meeting with a local agency and learning about the process and financial commitments of international adoption, we received an honorarium for some work that I did. The first step to initiate the process was to complete an application and send it in along with a $250 application fee. How much was the honorarium? $250. Exactly.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.” Romans 4:20-21

Over the next year, we submitted the application, labored through the home study, agonized over the dossier, and joined the other hopeful families on the wait list. After a year on the wait list, we heard that Ethiopia was growing leery of international adoption. “Would we like to start all over from the beginning and switch to the China program?” they asked. Well, I’ll just tell ya, ain’t nobody got time for that. We rolled the dice and stayed put.

Fast forward to September 3^rd, 2015. Just another random Wednesday, but it finally came. The call. The referral call. Out of nowhere. A few minutes later we opened an email, and the most beautiful little girl was looking back at us from the screen. Our daughter.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Two months later, we discovered that one piece of information on two of our referral documents didn’t match, and it didn’t look like the result was going to be in our daughter’s favor. Well, it was. Crisis averted.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

In November, we found out that our agency was closing. We were devastated. How would we continue on? A few weeks later, we learned that a reduced staff was going to maintain the agency in order to see our cases through. Every last one of them.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Time dragged on. Things were moving slowly for all families in process in Ethiopia due to governmental staff changes and turn-over. When we accepted her referral, we were told she would be home in 6-9 months. After praying boldly for some time, by June of this year, we were no longer praying to bring her home prior to the annual rainy season closure (August 5 – September 30), we were praying that our preliminary hearing would take place prior to the closure. Three weeks ago, right before closure, we received word that our preliminary hearing had taken place. As this is the last stop before a court date, we sensed that we had been holding our breath for months and could finally exhale.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Exactly a week later, we received a phone call and word of the most significant, discouraging development yet: our agency was shutting down completely – they were out of compliance – effective pretty much immediately, and there was no clear plan forward. I can’t express to you the paralyzing, pervasive fear that seeped into every corner of my brain. I lamented using the psalms, because I didn’t have any words left of my own. I grasped for hope but I honestly couldn’t see God anywhere. I couldn’t even access God in my memory. I didn’t have any cards left to play; I was a passive participant in the downward spiral of our adoption story. And then I remembered…..

I am a MAMA, by God.

Nathan and I are the greatest advocates our children have or will ever have. And God designed it that way. After spending last weekend in prayer and asking God to send out light and truth to lead me (Psalm 43), I started making some calls on Monday morning. The first time I actually talked to someone who could help me, I was energized. So, I made some more calls. Nathan made calls. We sent emails. We got more answers. We found more people who were willing to share information and help. And in the deep recesses of my mind, memories of God’s promises and provisions began to resurface again during my morning devotions.

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

We have not walked this road alone over the past two weeks, though. I have found beautiful community with several special, special adoptive mamas who are all deep in the same trenches. This morning, all together, we began to step out of the fog and visualize a clear path forward to bring our daughter home. We received word that another agency operating in Ethiopia received clearance this morning to take our cases and guide us through the rest of the process. And just like that, God’s glory is being revealed all over again.

I don’t write this blog post to remind you of God’s history of provision throughout our adoption process. I’m not trying to outline evidence of God’s hand making the path straight again after every time something comes along to curve it sharply to the left or right, for you.

I needed to remind myself.

I needed to outline evidence of God glory being brought about for us. 

Because before she’s finally in our arms for the first time, the path will start curving back and forth again. Or something will be placed squarely in the middle of the path that, at first glance, there seems no way around. I’m sure of it.

But when I’m tempted to think that it could never possibly be made straight or clear again in the future, I have to remind myself to look to the past. Through God’s acts of provision, starting with that very first check for $250, God’s faithfulness hasn’t waivered.

Glory be to God. 

“…but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, being fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

Please continue pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Kameron, Nathan, J. Henry, Amelia and our New Little Girl!

Jumping Through (good) Hoops

Friends -
While we received our referral for our little girl back in September, we continue to wait without knowing exactly when we can bring her home. Ideally approved families could bring their children hope directly after being matched with them. However, each step of the administrative process is designed to protect the children and ensure integrity from beginning to end. So while we are ever eager to have her home, we understand and support the process we are in. 

If you are wondering what takes so long, it is a complex  and laborious process that involves both US and Ethiopian governments taking multiple steps to verify that each child matched with a family is truly eligible for adoption. This is designed to, among other things, reduce the likelihood of any unethical processes in the adoption process. 

Currently, we are in the "investigation" stage and still look to be months out in the process. We are hopeful that she may be home in June or July, but we still don't have travel dates. We will take two trips, each one week long, to Ethiopia. The first we will be able to meet her in person for the first time and we will go to court to complete the legal process. Then we will come home and she will remain there. Then anywhere from 2-6 weeks later, we will return to bring her home for good. 

In the meantime, we continue to prepare our home and family for her arrival. This includes everything from getting furniture situated and preparing toys and clothes, to helping Henry and Amelia to anticipate how this will change our family, for the better. And we pray. Good golly, we pray, for her and everyone involved in the process. Including these two weirdos :0)

We are so thankful for each person who offers interest and encouragement in this time. We are ready to bring this thing to a close...so it may really begin!

We are so grateful for all your support and  and celebration. Our hearts are very full. 

Please continue pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Kameron, Nathan, J. Henry, Amelia and our New Little Girl!

The Best Friends in the World

Hey! We met our goal! Through the support of friends and family, our final fundraiser has been a success – thanks be to God!

A little background...When we began praying for wisdom and clarity at the beginning of this process, we knew we would need to do some fundraising. Our goal at the outset was to raise 1/3 of the total cost on our own, and fundraise 2/3 of the cost. So many people have generously purchased puzzle pieces and been a part of this journey up to this point – we have the best support system in the world.

In case you are curious about the financial commitment for adoption, here is a brief overview. When we began educating ourselves about the process, the estimated total cost was between $30-35K for an adoption from Ethiopia. This total is comprised of home study costs, domestic agency fees, referral fees, and travel costs.

But due to some new steps in the Ethiopian bureaucratic process – all designed to protect the children – the wait time between being paired with a child and bringing them home has been extended. Extended time means the cost for caring for the child increases, which means the referral fee required by the adoption agency is now higher. While these increases were not anticipated, we are in full agreement in these new developments that are intended to promote the well being of orphaned children.

And, because our friends and family are generally awesome, these changes have not been an impediment to our process. We have met our puzzle fundraiser goal. Below is the image that was assembled piece by piece, each a unique expression of love, that will hang in our little girl’s room as she is growing up:

Pretty cool, huh? Of course, the back of the puzzle shows the names of everyone who was a part of pulling it together. It will be framed with glass on two sides so we can read them and be reminded of this amazing journey. To think that she will be reminded each day she sees it of all the love that helped bring her home, coming from people who had yet to meet her…well, that’s just beautiful.

So what’s next?

We will share more information as we are allowed to, but the short of it is that we still have 3-4 bureaucratic steps to take (mostly waiting on paperwork to process), before we can make our first trip over. We are looking at a window of 6-9 months from now until that time. That seems like an eternity – we want to go get her now!

But we will wait, full of gratitude and longing, a very complimentary set of feelings, until that day comes.

We are so grateful for all your interest, prayers, financial support, and celebration. Our hearts are very full.

Please continue pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Kameron, Nathan, J. Henry, Amelia and our New Little Girl!

A Phone Call

I will never forget last Wednesday, September 3^rd, 2015. At 11:45a that morning my phone rang simultaneously with Nathan’s phone. I was in Smiths Station, AL evaluating a child and Nathan was at work in Birmingham. It was Elyse, our adoption case worker calling from Oregon. After her usual cheerful greeting, Elyse said, “Kameron, Nathan, this is your referral phone call.”

Oh!

My!

Goodness!

I am not even going to try to employ enough adjectives to tell you how we felt when Elyse told us about our child. Despite my flair for the dramatic, I still can’t do it justice. She emailed us paperwork on the child so that we could have a few moments to ourselves – we were both getting emotional. I commandeered an office computer to open up my email and, with Nathan in Birmingham, we simultaneously stared in wonder at our child for the first time. By the way, it’s a little girl!!! (Amelia called it months ago!)

The feeling of seeing her for the first time was the exact same feeling I had when I saw Henry and Amelia for the first time. We had been preparing and hoping for this call for 2.5 years, but it didn’t diminish our wonder and joy . I think our hearts grew a size that day. I can’t stop looking at her picture and checking the time in Ethiopia and wondering what our new child is doing at that very moment.

Of course, waiting up to this point has been challenging, but there is a real difference between waiting and WAITING ON SOMEONE TO ARRIVE!

While we are grateful and excited and celebrating about receiving our referral, we are ever mindful that our joy has been brought about by someone else’s pain, and we hope that you will join us in praying not only for the children in orphanages around the world, but for their birth mamas and daddies, too. I wouldn’t presume to imagine their stories…

According to Dove, we are not allowed to share any specific information about our child until later in the process, but will share updates as we are able. Believe us when we say that we would be shouting it from the rooftops if we could!

We still have quite a bit of waiting on various governmental parties stateside and in Ethiopia before our first trip to Addis Ababa can be scheduled. This could be anywhere from 6-9 months away. After a week there for the first visit, we will return home for six to eight weeks before we take our second trip and bring her home!

In the meantime…

Today we are mailing our final and most sizeable payment to date - $15,200 - and with that comes our final fundraising endeavor. When we started this process 2.5 years ago, we bought a 1,000 piece puzzle in anticipation of our final fundraiser, with a special image to hang in our new child’s room.

For each $10 donation we receive, we will put a puzzle piece in place with your name, or name of your choice, written on the back. For example, if you donate $10, one puzzle piece will have your name on it. If you donate $20, two pieces will have your name on it, etc. We will be taking pictures of the back of the puzzle as it is assembled (the names side), and when it is completed we will turn it over and show you what we made together!

I bought the first puzzle piece yesterday wrote “Mommy” on the back of it :0)

When the puzzle is finished, we will frame it in glass on both sides and hang it in our child’s bedroom as a permanent reminder of all the love and support that helped bring her to us.

In order to buy a puzzle piece, please click on the yellow “Donate” button on the right side of our blog. Under the donation amount, you should see “Special Instructions for the Seller.” Click on that, and a text box will come up. Please write the name that would like for us to write on the back of your puzzle piece, and we will receive that information when we receive your donation.

Thank you from the bottom of our now-larger hearts for all of your love, prayers and support. We can’t wait to share more information with you as the process unfolds!

Please continue pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Kameron, Nathan, J. Henry, Amelia and our New Little Girl!