Busy but not in a Hurry

Friends –

We are overdue in updating our blog, having allowed the fullness of our lives to delay our posting. Thank you for your continued interest in our adoption journey, displayed by your inquiries in person and otherwise. Each month we receive an update as to the waiting list, and we are celebrating signs of progress. We receive your interest as valued signs of support.

As we have continued to wait for a referral from the adoption agency, we have busied ourselves by working toward some goals we hope to accomplish (or at least make strides toward!) before Baby #3 arrives. In fact, we often agree that this year has been filled with the most commitments of any year since we have been married. Thankfully, all our many tasks have been positive.

Nathan continues his schoolwork he began last July, spending evenings and weekend working on his dissertation. Well, not every evening, but some. His work at Trinity has been exciting as the church continues to grow and transitions into new senior pastor leadership. Kameron continues her 110-mile round-trip commute to the Alabama School for the Deaf to teach children with hearing loss how to talk. She has added tele-therapy (therapy via Skype) with several families after school and on weekends too, as a part of a research project through the Moog School in St. Louis, MO. Additionally, she has been teaching some online graduate classes in linguistics.

J. Henry is enjoying piano lessons and will start spring baseball this week. He has had a wonderful 1^st grade year and is looking forward to his 7^th birthday in May. Amelia is a big “3 and a half” now and doesn’t let her size or age prohibit her from sharing her opinion. She enjoys taking dance lessons each Wednesday afternoon. Both children express very positive feelings anticipating the arrival of Baby #3 – let’s hope that lasts :0)

In the midst of this year, we are striving to not allow our busy schedules to lead to hurried lives. As writer John Ortberg surmises, busy is an external condition of having many things to do. Hurry is an inward condition of being distracted and un-present with others and ourselves. While we are anxiously awaiting the phone call that will tell us our child will join us, we also don’t want to miss the opportunities provided to us during this waiting period to learn patience and trust. We pray for our child, his/her mother, and the people who will care for them before we bring them home.

Patience is not easy and we may not be getting any better at it. But we are allowing the wait to challenge us to use this time constructively. Because we believe that prayer, while nearly invisible and mostly immeasurable, is the most essential thing we can do.  

We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry, Amelia (and Baby #3!)

A Big Brother's Perspective

In the early days of prayerfully discerning our decision to adopt, we shared and discussed it with J. Henry, who turned 6 last May. As the big brother in our family he understands that he has certain responsibilities with his 2 year old sister, Amelia, and we wanted him to know that he would now have two younger siblings to look after. He has always responded enthusiastically in our conversations and even brings it up on his own from time to time.

On Labor Day weekend, our family of four took an overnight trip to Huntsville to visit the Space Center and Science Center. On the way home in the car, we decided to quiz him a little concerning the adoption. Below are his verbatim answers that Kameron recorded, with no coaching. We were both pleased and amused by his answers and thought you might enjoy them too.

Kam: J. Henry, where are we adopting from?

Henry: Ethiopia.

Kam: Where is that?

Henry: In Africa.

Kam: How old will our child be?

Henry: I have no idea. It's gonna be under the number 6. But I don't know, maybe it's 5.

Kam: How long will it be before our child comes to our house?

Henry: Maybe when I'm 7.

Kam: Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?

Henry: I hope it's a boy.

Kam: Why?

Henry: Because I DO NOT LIKE GIRLS.

Kam: What will you teach your new brother/sister how to do?

Henry: How to jump on the trampoline and speak English and color. I will teach him lots of things. I will teach him how to use things in America - how to use a fork, sit in a car seat, pause and un-pause a TV, honk a horn, pack his clothes, give a hug and a kiss, sing, dance, share. I will teach him how to stay with y'all and how to cooperate.

Kam: What will you share with your new sibling?

Henry: Maybe some of my pencils, or magazines. I'll share Mimi!

Kam: What will you not share?

Henry: I'll share everything with him.

Kam: Do you pray for him/her?

Henry: Oh, I will. And I will teach him how to pray.

Kam: Are you worried about anything with the new child coming?

Henry: Nope.

Kam: What do you think he will be when he grows up?

Henry: Let his imagination flow. He can control his own life.

Kam: Who will he child share a room with?

Henry: Me. If it's a girl, Amelia can have her in her room. But if it's a boy, I'll do it.

Kam: What color skin will our child have?

Henry: Tannish.

Kam: What will you say if people make comments about our tannish child looking different than us?

Henry: I will say, a child is a child. And that's nothing.

Kam: If somebody said, "He's not really your brother because he's adopted," what would you say?

Henry: Well, we adopted him, so now he's in our family.

I think he is getting it.

We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry, Amelia (and Baby #3!)

Learning How to Pray

A spiritual retreat, a family wedding, an anniversary vacation, recitals and end of the year programs, work transitions and travel, and Nathan starting a doctorate - the last several months have been a whirlwind of activity for our family.  We are grateful to finally catch our breath and share a brief update on our adoption journey. 

Our dossier was successfully accepted in Ethiopia in March 2014. We are happy to share that we continue to move up the waiting list toward a referral for our new child. Each month, we receive an email update with a progress report indicating our place on the list. We started at #30 four months ago and now are down to #25. Some months there are several referrals, some months none at all. At the current pace of referrals, we will be waiting another 20 months. It could be shorter, it could be longer. 

On the one hand we want to pray that the process will move more quickly. We are excited for our family to grow and are filled with anticipation to meet our child and bring him/her home. Naturally we don't want to wait any longer than necessary. 

Yet we are conflicted in praying that way. To pray for the referrals to speed up means that the need for adoption is increasing. More referrals means more children not being able to stay with their birth parents, and more parents giving their children up for adoption. The circumstances that have led or will lead to the child being orphaned are inherently full of pain and loss. 

We wish we lived in a world in which adoption wasn't necessary. The grace-filled beauty of adoption is born out of the deep pain of the need for it. 

So, as we continue to learn patience we believe we have discovered how to pray during this time. We have felt encouraged to pray not only for our child, but for his/her birth parents. Whether or not our child has been born yet, we pray for the health and wellbeing of the mother and father.  We trust that God has knowledge of this situation and cares. We also trust that God is like an attentive parent and when we, God's children, make the desires of our heart known, God's creative and healing Spirit blows through their lives. 

As we wait, as you read this, will you join us in praying for our child's birth family? 

We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace, 

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry, Amelia (and Baby #3!)

Now the REAL waiting begins...

After months of baking pound cakes, scribbling over paperwork and running around Birmingham our dossier is in process with the adoption agency in Ethiopia and we are on the waiting list – thanks be to God!

So now that we are on the waiting list, here is how the rest of this process will unfold. When our name moves to the front of the list, we will be matched with a boy or girl who will be from birth to five years old. We will be contacted and given a profile of the child. Once we accept the referral for this child, Kameron and I will make plans to travel to Ethiopia within a few weeks to meet our child in person and to initiate the paperwork in their court system. We will stay for 6-8 days before returning home, leaving our child in the care of foster parents (we expect it to be very difficult to leave our new little boy or girl, even if for just awhile!) We will then return within a 60-90 period to appear in court and to complete the legal work, over a 4-6 day stay. At the end of that time we will return home with our new child with us. While there will be a little paperwork to do in the weeks after we return home, for the most part the adoption will be complete.

So now we wait. We expect the wait to be between 18-24 months for a referral, given the current pace of referrals. In the mean time we will continue to pray for them and to work toward our fundraising goals. We ask our friends and family to please keep our family and our child to come in your prayers. We need patience and faith beyond our natural ability during this time of waiting. Thank you all so very much for encouraging us, for generously supporting us, and for lifting us before God in your prayers. We could not do this alone.

One day, we will walk through the doors of an orphanage in Addis Ababa and scoop our child up into our arms for the first time. It will be a joyful moment as we get to touch them and see and hear them in person. And as they are physically embraced by us for the first time, the true power of the moment is that while they will only see and feel us with them, we will KNOW that a whole army of friends and family has been giving, praying, encouraging – all so we can bring them home.

We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry, Amelia (and Baby #3!)