A Big Brother's Perspective

In the early days of prayerfully discerning our decision to adopt, we shared and discussed it with J. Henry, who turned 6 last May. As the big brother in our family he understands that he has certain responsibilities with his 2 year old sister, Amelia, and we wanted him to know that he would now have two younger siblings to look after. He has always responded enthusiastically in our conversations and even brings it up on his own from time to time.

On Labor Day weekend, our family of four took an overnight trip to Huntsville to visit the Space Center and Science Center. On the way home in the car, we decided to quiz him a little concerning the adoption. Below are his verbatim answers that Kameron recorded, with no coaching. We were both pleased and amused by his answers and thought you might enjoy them too.

Kam: J. Henry, where are we adopting from?

Henry: Ethiopia.

Kam: Where is that?

Henry: In Africa.

Kam: How old will our child be?

Henry: I have no idea. It's gonna be under the number 6. But I don't know, maybe it's 5.

Kam: How long will it be before our child comes to our house?

Henry: Maybe when I'm 7.

Kam: Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?

Henry: I hope it's a boy.

Kam: Why?

Henry: Because I DO NOT LIKE GIRLS.

Kam: What will you teach your new brother/sister how to do?

Henry: How to jump on the trampoline and speak English and color. I will teach him lots of things. I will teach him how to use things in America - how to use a fork, sit in a car seat, pause and un-pause a TV, honk a horn, pack his clothes, give a hug and a kiss, sing, dance, share. I will teach him how to stay with y'all and how to cooperate.

Kam: What will you share with your new sibling?

Henry: Maybe some of my pencils, or magazines. I'll share Mimi!

Kam: What will you not share?

Henry: I'll share everything with him.

Kam: Do you pray for him/her?

Henry: Oh, I will. And I will teach him how to pray.

Kam: Are you worried about anything with the new child coming?

Henry: Nope.

Kam: What do you think he will be when he grows up?

Henry: Let his imagination flow. He can control his own life.

Kam: Who will he child share a room with?

Henry: Me. If it's a girl, Amelia can have her in her room. But if it's a boy, I'll do it.

Kam: What color skin will our child have?

Henry: Tannish.

Kam: What will you say if people make comments about our tannish child looking different than us?

Henry: I will say, a child is a child. And that's nothing.

Kam: If somebody said, "He's not really your brother because he's adopted," what would you say?

Henry: Well, we adopted him, so now he's in our family.

I think he is getting it.

We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry, Amelia (and Baby #3!)

Learning How to Pray

A spiritual retreat, a family wedding, an anniversary vacation, recitals and end of the year programs, work transitions and travel, and Nathan starting a doctorate - the last several months have been a whirlwind of activity for our family.  We are grateful to finally catch our breath and share a brief update on our adoption journey. 

Our dossier was successfully accepted in Ethiopia in March 2014. We are happy to share that we continue to move up the waiting list toward a referral for our new child. Each month, we receive an email update with a progress report indicating our place on the list. We started at #30 four months ago and now are down to #25. Some months there are several referrals, some months none at all. At the current pace of referrals, we will be waiting another 20 months. It could be shorter, it could be longer. 

On the one hand we want to pray that the process will move more quickly. We are excited for our family to grow and are filled with anticipation to meet our child and bring him/her home. Naturally we don't want to wait any longer than necessary. 

Yet we are conflicted in praying that way. To pray for the referrals to speed up means that the need for adoption is increasing. More referrals means more children not being able to stay with their birth parents, and more parents giving their children up for adoption. The circumstances that have led or will lead to the child being orphaned are inherently full of pain and loss. 

We wish we lived in a world in which adoption wasn't necessary. The grace-filled beauty of adoption is born out of the deep pain of the need for it. 

So, as we continue to learn patience we believe we have discovered how to pray during this time. We have felt encouraged to pray not only for our child, but for his/her birth parents. Whether or not our child has been born yet, we pray for the health and wellbeing of the mother and father.  We trust that God has knowledge of this situation and cares. We also trust that God is like an attentive parent and when we, God's children, make the desires of our heart known, God's creative and healing Spirit blows through their lives. 

As we wait, as you read this, will you join us in praying for our child's birth family? 

We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace, 

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry, Amelia (and Baby #3!)

Now the REAL waiting begins...

After months of baking pound cakes, scribbling over paperwork and running around Birmingham our dossier is in process with the adoption agency in Ethiopia and we are on the waiting list – thanks be to God!

So now that we are on the waiting list, here is how the rest of this process will unfold. When our name moves to the front of the list, we will be matched with a boy or girl who will be from birth to five years old. We will be contacted and given a profile of the child. Once we accept the referral for this child, Kameron and I will make plans to travel to Ethiopia within a few weeks to meet our child in person and to initiate the paperwork in their court system. We will stay for 6-8 days before returning home, leaving our child in the care of foster parents (we expect it to be very difficult to leave our new little boy or girl, even if for just awhile!) We will then return within a 60-90 period to appear in court and to complete the legal work, over a 4-6 day stay. At the end of that time we will return home with our new child with us. While there will be a little paperwork to do in the weeks after we return home, for the most part the adoption will be complete.

So now we wait. We expect the wait to be between 18-24 months for a referral, given the current pace of referrals. In the mean time we will continue to pray for them and to work toward our fundraising goals. We ask our friends and family to please keep our family and our child to come in your prayers. We need patience and faith beyond our natural ability during this time of waiting. Thank you all so very much for encouraging us, for generously supporting us, and for lifting us before God in your prayers. We could not do this alone.

One day, we will walk through the doors of an orphanage in Addis Ababa and scoop our child up into our arms for the first time. It will be a joyful moment as we get to touch them and see and hear them in person. And as they are physically embraced by us for the first time, the true power of the moment is that while they will only see and feel us with them, we will KNOW that a whole army of friends and family has been giving, praying, encouraging – all so we can bring them home.

We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry, Amelia (and Baby #3!)

Imago Dei

For our family, our faith teaches us that every human being reflects the image of our creator. Every person. Each member of our family. The child who will become a part of our family. It is innately in everyone. Every person who has ever lived has within them the image of God. People define this in different ways: freewill, a moral compass, ability to contemplate the future, etc. Of course, some people reflect that image very poorly. The Light shines in, but is absorbed into the black hole of poor choices, self-centeredness, and indifference. So the Light isn't reflected very well and we don’t see God in much they do. Others reflect the Light very well through compassion, joy, and creative generosity. In the bright eyes, warm smiles, and caring actions of those people, we clearly see the face of the One in whose image we are all made. I have learned to recognize that image in many wonderful friends over the years. Over time, I have almost come to anticipate that I will have to squint a little in their presence because the Light is reflected so glaringly. 

But, sometimes, unexpectedly, we see the image in the face of a total stranger. 

Yesterday was a big day. After 9 months of paperwork and jumping through administrative hoops - all very appropriate and necessary for the adoption of a child, of course - Kameron mailed our dossier off to Oregon to the Dove International Adoption office for them to review our file, make any amendments, and forward to the Ethiopian Embassy in Washington, D.C. and then on to the State Department (equivalent) in Ethiopia. If all goes as we hope, our dossier should in Ethiopia in 3 weeks! At that time we will be put on a waiting list with an average wait time of 18 months before we are placed with our new child.

Kameron went to the UPS store located at 1919 Oxmoor road in Homewood to mail the dossier. The gentleman who was helping her was named Josh and had brown hair and a beard. He is always there. He told her through ground transport the dossier would reach Oregon next Wednesday, Feb. 26. She then asked how much other options shipping would be. He told her that he would check. She waited for what felt like a long time. Finally, he returned to the counter and had her verify the address on the package. When she finished, he said, "I know a guy whose dad is adopted. I know how important this is. Your dossier will be in Oregon tomorrow by 10:30. No charge for this one." 

Kameron asked if she could give him a hug, and he said yes (who would say "No" to my cute wife? :0). When Kameron made it to church last night to tell me, I could see the excitement and blessing in her eyes, before she could explain what happened. This was a brilliant public relations move for UPS. She eagerly told EVERYONE. Turns out that the image in Josh was reflected so brightly, that it radiated from the countenance of one of his customers for the rest of her day.

We hope that all our local friends will increase their patronage to the Homewood UPS. Perhaps the next time you are in there, you will give Josh, the guy with the brown hair and beard, a hug or a handshake. Kameron plans to take him a pound cake next week as a small token of our appreciation. It wasn't just the generous gift of the cost of the shipping that means so much to us. It is the reminder that the Light is shining in a dark world. And with folks like Josh out there reflecting it, there is no way the darkness will overcome it. 

Thank you, Josh at UPS. 

We deeply desire to show God’s love to one of His own by making him or her one of our own. Please pray for all five us during this journey.

In God’s Grace,

Nathan, Kameron, J. Henry, Amelia (and Baby #3!)